Where is the feelings switch?

Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. Or you give up on it. Like i did. At least that's how it feels sometimes. The past few weeks have been horrible. It's been turbulent in my heart, messy in my head and completely still around me. It's a shitty mixture and i am dealing with it quite badly. There is no more me in your heart, no more you in my arms and no more us in the world. We have vanished in every sense of the word and it is still, after all this time knocking me down. Well it has to be honest just started knocking me down. The 'no more us' part. It comes and goes as it pleases, the feeling.

I'm sorry i didn't keep fighting for us. I'm sorry i can't feel happy for your happiness. And i'm sorry i remember every stupid little detail about the way you loved me with all your heart. But even more, i am sorry for wrapping myself in sadness.

I need to get my shit together. Get my emotions in check, throw em' in a bag, toss it in the ocean, wave goodbye, walk away and raise my middle finger up in the air!