No, not "baby" anymore, if I need you I'll just use your simple name, only kisses from the cheek from now on. And in a little while, we'll only have to wait.

Today i woke up with a feeling that something had changed. There's a hurricane in my head and my heart feels frozen. I see your name on my phone and it makes me dizzy. I think of how we've been treating each other over the past few months and it makes me sick. I've tried. I've fucking tried. But you leave me with nothing. I know it was my fault. I am perfectly aware that my decisions lead us to this, but what lead me to my decisions? Sigh, i have no need collecting points on who got hurt more, but what we've come to is bigger than me. I thought i could handle it, i thought i could keep calm and let time heal the wounds, but i can't. I gave you too many chances to punch me in the heart and leave me in the rain, but you didn't. Now, i see it all so clearly. Without really understanding, i feel it.

You stopped caring. Not about me nor what we had, you just stopped caring. And with that you created a distance between us and filled that space with meaningless thrills. It makes me sad. I don't recognize you anymore and it makes me want to scream. My sadness is slowly growing into anger and that is the last thing i want. I don't want to hate you, but you are pushing me away with invisible punches and your silent words. I have no idea what to make of any of this and i am getting lightheaded as i type..