It's been so long since i've allowed my thoughts of our tainted love to wander the pages of my diary. My heart has been shattered and overused about a million times over the past few months and i am still trying to figure out how to let things in my life illuminate again.
Day after day went by and it felt like nothing ever changed, but looking back everything was different. Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on, but i could never run fast enough. Anything i did, it was never enough. I wanted it so bad, believe me i did. I wanted you to be for me in all the ways i had always dreamt of, but it simply wasn't enough. I spent a great deal of minutes of my hours and hours of my days battling between my head and heart wether or not to keep you. Out of pure exhaustion and wanting love so bad, I gave up, i let you in. From that moment on, i also gave up on sanity. I built my walls around us and lost touch of reality. I never felt as much as i did with you. I was vomiting feelings left and right and had completely no chance of holding it together. It is by far one of the most turbulent and beautiful journeys i have ever taken part of. Nothing was ever easy and the world made sure to remind us every other day. But i will never regret you or say that i wish i'd never met you. Because once upon a time you were everything i needed.
I've always been of the ranting kind, the one to rage about my emotions. In silence that is, with the ink of my parker on the pages of my moleskine. But it's time. It's time for me to stop everything and let the wind lead me to wherever i am supposed to be.
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